Emotionally Unavailable

I was emotionally unavailable.
He was a friend to me, but I was something more to him.
He wanted me, I just couldn't accept us.
He held onto me and I pushed him away everytime.
He was there for me but I thought I was strong enough to handle everything alone.
He tried to climb up my walls but I built them higher and higher everyday.
He became emotionally unavailable.

Maybe it was your white innocence, your blind optimism, your blunt honesty or your crown of hope that made me drawn to you, I never really understood the reasons why, and now its too late to fathom them. I always envied you how you were friends with everyone and it was so difficult for me to make the small talk, but somehow, you always did your best to eradicate our awkwardness. Your compliments on my worse hair day never made me feel beautiful, your silly jokes never made me laugh and sorry that I never understood that glance in your eye when everyone told me  I looked beautiful in my yellow dress. And then eventually I was left stranded in the deep without you because I never realized when I cut off your rope of friendship. That day on my birthday when you couldn't afford a gift so you brought a little white daisy plucked from your grandmother's garden and I just used it as a bookmark for that dusty book I never liked. The white daisy, how it captured your beauty and I never could appreciate it's essense. Your white daisy.

Now the withered daisy petals falling from that old book's yellow pages fills me with remorse. Maybe they died when you left. Maybe it was you who had to make the calls.Maybe it was me who pushed you so hard that you never came back.

I hope you find a friend.
I hope she accepts you.
I hope she doesn't pull away when you hold her hand in public.
I hope she feels strong with you.
And I hope you never had to climb up her walls.
I hope she doesn't have any walls.
I  hope she's emotionally available.

My 'it' girl: part 2

Sorry Ashi and everyone, that it took me a lot to write this, but here it is.

A few months ago I submitted an article to my school magazine editor called the 'The Prosody of Little Things' It's about how we fail to notice the little things around us, and when your school magazine editor asks you to submit an article, out of the blue, you just turn the essensce of those feelings in to words.
Hence, here I wan't to submit another article to my editor, It's not about the little things that we fail to notice, but the much bigger things that we fail to appreciate.
One of the other big things, is my friend Ashima Khanna. Why she is a big thing? I'll tell you why.

Ever heard about those people, who doesn't need to climb up a ladder to stand up away from the crowd, who doesn't need to take take a diffrent route yet still make the route diffrent. Well she's a four leaved clover in a grass feild.
We are very diffrent personalities, apart from music choice, if you exclude her loathe for taylor swift, we have nothing in common. She is a very strong girl, just say whatever she wants, discusses sexuality openly and some people adore her for this boldness. She has problems in the boyzone and maths, but well I can't blame her for this.
She is our magazine editor, hence the written ode to her. I can't say anything else because frankly if I start I would never stop.
I just hope I would always be friends with this alpha female, homie, kurt cobain lover, a potential philosophy major student, my journalist, cosmetic chemist, chemistry hater, and yeah just Ashima :)

New Song- Distance a Little Less

I love music, I love writing and then this song just popped up out of nowhere. I'm not much of a poet, but I like music so it's a song I wrote myself, chord progression is something like this

Capo 3rd fret
Am, C, G, D ( I just did it with the plucking)
Lyrics are something like this-

We were young but frankly quite old,
We were counting the days to show,
It was writen on our stupid doors
That stayed locked up all along
And this song is reach you out
That came with the loudest shout

Can you make the distance a little less?
Can you put it all into rest?

You were like the moonlight that would come
When the darkest nights are on the run
You said you'll take me away
To cross the meadows that we shared
But baby now its all covered in weeds
And you yourself cannot pull me out free

Can you make the distance a little less?
Can you put it all into rest?

Guitar break....

Maybe they were all our stupid doors
That stayed locked up all along
And this song is to reach you out
But you have silenced all my shouts
Can you make the distance a little less?
Can you put it all into rest?
And I'm still counting the days to show
And you were right, you made me all wrong.

Can you make the distance a little less?
Can you put it all into rest?