I was emotionally unavailable.
He was a friend to me, but I was something more to him.
He wanted me, I just couldn't accept us.
He held onto me and I pushed him away everytime.
He was there for me but I thought I was strong enough to handle everything alone.
He tried to climb up my walls but I built them higher and higher everyday.
He became emotionally unavailable.
Maybe it was your white innocence, your blind optimism, your blunt honesty or your crown of hope that made me drawn to you, I never really understood the reasons why, and now its too late to fathom them. I always envied you how you were friends with everyone and it was so difficult for me to make the small talk, but somehow, you always did your best to eradicate our awkwardness. Your compliments on my worse hair day never made me feel beautiful, your silly jokes never made me laugh and sorry that I never understood that glance in your eye when everyone told me I looked beautiful in my yellow dress. And then eventually I was left stranded in the deep without you because I never realized when I cut off your rope of friendship. That day on my birthday when you couldn't afford a gift so you brought a little white daisy plucked from your grandmother's garden and I just used it as a bookmark for that dusty book I never liked. The white daisy, how it captured your beauty and I never could appreciate it's essense. Your white daisy.
Now the withered daisy petals falling from that old book's yellow pages fills me with remorse. Maybe they died when you left. Maybe it was you who had to make the calls.Maybe it was me who pushed you so hard that you never came back.
I hope you find a friend.
I hope she accepts you.
I hope she doesn't pull away when you hold her hand in public.
I hope she feels strong with you.
And I hope you never had to climb up her walls.
I hope she doesn't have any walls.
I hope she's emotionally available.
Sorry Ashi and everyone, that it took me a lot to write this, but here it is.
A few months ago I submitted an article to my school magazine editor called the 'The Prosody of Little Things' It's about how we fail to notice the little things around us, and when your school magazine editor asks you to submit an article, out of the blue, you just turn the essensce of those feelings in to words.
Hence, here I wan't to submit another article to my editor, It's not about the little things that we fail to notice, but the much bigger things that we fail to appreciate.
One of the other big things, is my friend Ashima Khanna. Why she is a big thing? I'll tell you why.
Ever heard about those people, who doesn't need to climb up a ladder to stand up away from the crowd, who doesn't need to take take a diffrent route yet still make the route diffrent. Well she's a four leaved clover in a grass feild.
We are very diffrent personalities, apart from music choice, if you exclude her loathe for taylor swift, we have nothing in common. She is a very strong girl, just say whatever she wants, discusses sexuality openly and some people adore her for this boldness. She has problems in the boyzone and maths, but well I can't blame her for this.
She is our magazine editor, hence the written ode to her. I can't say anything else because frankly if I start I would never stop.
I just hope I would always be friends with this alpha female, homie, kurt cobain lover, a potential philosophy major student, my journalist, cosmetic chemist, chemistry hater, and yeah just Ashima :)
I love music, I love writing and then this song just popped up out of nowhere. I'm not much of a poet, but I like music so it's a song I wrote myself, chord progression is something like this
Capo 3rd fret
Am, C, G, D ( I just did it with the plucking)
Lyrics are something like this-
We were young but frankly quite old,
We were counting the days to show,
It was writen on our stupid doors
That stayed locked up all along
And this song is reach you out
That came with the loudest shout
Can you make the distance a little less?
Can you put it all into rest?
You were like the moonlight that would come
When the darkest nights are on the run
You said you'll take me away
To cross the meadows that we shared
But baby now its all covered in weeds
And you yourself cannot pull me out free
Can you make the distance a little less?
Can you put it all into rest?
Guitar break....
Maybe they were all our stupid doors
That stayed locked up all along
And this song is to reach you out
But you have silenced all my shouts
Can you make the distance a little less?
Can you put it all into rest?
And I'm still counting the days to show
And you were right, you made me all wrong.
Can you make the distance a little less?
Can you put it all into rest?
Iam a huge Swiftie, so I downloaded Taylor's new album 1989 and thought of ranking the songs.
In an interview Taylor stated that Red has been all exprimental and it was about which tunes to include in the next album. Well, considering 1989 it is a huge transition from country to pop. She has gone from innocent hopless girl in love from Speak Now to the strong lady out there in 1989.
Here, are my rankings
13) I Wish You Would- too much synth pop, sometime her vocals seem to fade away with the music.
12) This Love- Appearantly its the only song Tay wrote herself on this album, but its too boring.
11) How To Get A Girl- Too much bubblegum pop for me.
10) Welcome to New York- Nashville girl meets the city lights. However the song doesn't seem to speak to me.
9)Clean- Comparitvly a better song with such poetic lyrics.
8)Out of The Woods- So I heard this song was about Harry Styles, either way I like it.
7)Bad Blood- A strong song with strong vocals, You don't wanna mess with Tay Tay.
6) I know places- this cool upbeat song reminds me so much of Divergent and Hunger Games or even Maze Runner.
5) Wildest Dreams- a dark and romantic song which certainly tells Taylor is not the Romeo Juliet girl anymore.
4)All you had to do was Stay- Okay I love this.
3) Shake it Off- One one of her best songs so far.
2) Blank Space- I love the quircky fun lyrics and tune, derserves the 2nd slot.
1)Style- Well this one is my favorite on her album, it's such cool funky upbeat song. ♡♡♡
I could see our drenched feet inside the thin water sheet. We've been sitting here for hours and I could still feel the slippery rock clay below my feet. Evidentally, the water didn't feel cold at all.
"Your nailpaint looks very odd" he said looking at my green nailpaint which could be clearly seen inside the crystal water.
"And what do you think is the best colour for a girl's nails?" I asked, perplexed.
"Maybe something like hot red" He smirked
Hot red? Red? No way, red is so for old ladies, I would never wear hot red.
"But I think this green kinda compliments your giant feet" he said leaving me bewildered to think whether it was a compliment or a mocking comment. I said nothing and we went back staring at the brown rocks inside the water, embracing the silence.
Time has fled by since then, and he went like the wind. The kind of wind which comes only once, to clear out the dark sky. The kind of wind which make people hope, it would come when the clouds are gray again.
I don't know where he went and maybe I don't want to know.
Coincidentally, today I'm wearing that same green nailpaint again, just a darker shade.
